Please ignore my absurd attempt at homemade guacamole and take a moment to really inspect the chips in the photo. Wait a minute?! Is that a … surfboard? Yes, my fellow party dip makers, those are in fact “Longboard Chips” made by the funky folks at Trader Joe’s. These organic tortilla chips are tasty, and must only be served while channeling Matthew McConaughey. All right…All right…All right…

Now, who wants to share their top secret recipes and tips for making really awesome guacamole? CK, Melissa, and I had the best guacamole I’ve ever had a few weeks ago at Ole Mexican Grill in Inman square. Unfortunately I was too busy socializing and sipping a super strong margarita to notice how they made the guacamole. Did I mention they make it tableside? It’s all in all phenomenal. We polished off our whole bowl with gusto. Next time I’m not going to take my eyes off the server while they prepare it.

For the most part, new Food Network hostess Mary Nolan has gone unnoticed and unheralded since her episodes began airing this summer. To be perfectly honest I mostly tune in because I really like her hair. Although, she absolutely freaked me out during the “Posh Picnic” episode when she repeatedly touched raw meat, followed by the blender, and finished off her germ spreading spree with a good hard pull on the refrigerator handle. Most of you probably didn’t even notice, but I’m a total germaphobe. I practically went into apoplectic shock after they discontinued the Dawn “Wash ‘n’ Toss” because that meant I would have to use sponges to wash dishes. Sponges seriously gross me out.

Even after all of those cooking missteps, I still wanted to try some of the recipes from Mary’s show. Her hair must really be impressive, right? Seriously though this salad is absolutely delicious. The tangy sugar laced dressing is amazing paired with corn and creamy avocado chunks. CK and I ate this for three days and never complained once. So Mary you (or at least your Orzo Salad) get our stamp of approval. PS: I know your Food Network kitchen is fake and all, but just try to wash your hands once in a while, OK?

Orzo Salad (recipe courtesy of Mary Nolan)

1 cup whole-wheat orzo pasta (Note: I used regular Orzo)
3 ears corn, shucked and kernels removed from cob (about 1 1/2 cups)
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 avocado, diced
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 pint grape tomatoes, halved
1/4 cup chopped flat leaf parsley

Bring a pot of generously salted water to a rapid boil. Add the orzo and cook according to package directions, adding the corn in the last minute of cooking, until al dente, about 8 minutes. Drain and transfer to a medium bowl. Set aside. Pour the lime juice over the avocado and coat evenly (this will minimize discoloration). Whisk together the olive oil, vinegar, sugar, cumin, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Drizzle over the orzo and add the avocado with lime juice, tomatoes, and parsley. Mix until combined and serve warm or at room temperature.

CK and I are really enjoying our weekly Boston Organics deliveries. We even purchased a cooler to leave in the lobby for the nice delivery man to transfer our yummy fruits and veggies into for safe keeping until one of us wanders home from work.  I had to revive my lettuce a few too many times before I realized…oh duh…maybe this stuff needs a better home than a green plastic tote for eight hours.

So all in all it’s going very well.  Except for the avocados.  Over the last five weeks I’ve thrown out five avocados.  How horrible is that!  I feel guilty every time I have to toss the poor guys into the trash, but I just haven’t been able to think of a anything to do with them other than possibly make guacamole.  The thing is…I sort of hate guacamole and until Sunday morning I sort of disliked avocados.  I’d eat it if you put it in front of me, or you wrapped it up in sushi, but I’d never go out of my way to buy or use them.  But then CK shared a post on Google Reader about making Avocado Toast, and our friend Anna chimed in with a resounding email response of, “This is totes my favorite snack!!!!”  It appeared imminent that avocado and I would be forced to meet once again, and meet we did — spread on warm toast with a simple concoction of spices. It was a phenomenally good time!  From now on I promise that CK and I will be fighting over the avocados in our house and I vow to never throw one out ever again.

Avocado Toast (Based on Dani’s original recipe at Messy Cookin via Projectionist)
Makes 3 slices of delicious avocado topped bread

1 avocado
3 slices of bread (Note: I used Arnold Country White.  When I’m “bad” I’m very very bad).
Red Pepper Flakes
Sea Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper
Olive Oil

Toast the bread.  Slice the avocado in half, remove the flesh and place into a small bowl.  Mash the avocado with a fork and spread onto the toasted bread.

Sprinkle the toast with Red Pepper Flakes, salt and pepper, and drizzle lightly with olive oil.