“Little Erin” as CK likes to refer to my pouty, adolescent, pigtailed self had quite a few interesting snacking habits.  When I was a kid I liked to make sneaky things that I wasn’t supposed to be eating.  Especially if I could utilize the microwave in the process.  Some of my more famous concoctions included taking 8 Ritz crackers, folding 2 Kraft Singles into quarters, placing a piece of cheese on each cracker and then topping them with a green olive.  I’d finish this “delectable” snack off with 30 seconds in the microwave.   I proudly referred to this processed cheese invention as an hors d’œuvre.

Another favorite after school “treat” involved placing spoonfuls of peanut butter and Nestle’s Quik into a coffee cup and also microwaving it.  Then I’d stir the two together and pretend I was eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.  I assure you, peanut butter and powdered drink mix do not taste anything at all like a candy bar.  My mother and grandmother would get really annoyed at me when they discovered these chocolate encrusted cups in the sink.

I also liked to sit down in front of the TV with my school books and the one and only Mr. Maury Povich (pre paternity test days) while eating Cheerios dipped in Chocolate milk.  Are you beginning to see a pattern here?

Finally, a far less revolting item in my repertoire was the standby Ritz smothered in Marshmallow Fluff.   I vividly remember the first time I ever ate these sticky crackers.  I was watching the movie Lisa.  If you haven’t had the honor, it stars Staci Keenan (Dana from Step by Step) and Cheryl Ladd.  Staci portrays the precocious “Lisa” who has a penchant for making prank phone calls and being a great big, although quite creative, boy stalker …until she starts chatting up an honest to goodness serial killer.   It’s total camp.  You should rent it.  So the other day I picked up a $3 single sleeve of Ritz at the sketchy market on my street, popped open a plastic jar of fluff and had a little nostalgic sugar high for a few minutes.  It felt…good.  In an artificial sweetener kind of way.

Please feel free to share your bizarre childhood junk food memories in the comments.  I can’t possibly be the only weirdo who snuck things like the above and really loved having birthday parties filled with Cheddar Cheese Jax, Shark Attack Fruit Snacks, Mountain Dew (ick…I seriously just gagged a little) and Circus Peanuts.

I just ate the craziest thing for lunch. It was a Lean Cuisine Chicken, Mushroom and Spinach Panini and via some magical means (this strange silver coating on the package) it grilled itself in the microwave. Yes those are grill marks in the photo. Thanks iPhone! Equally shocking was that the sandwich actually tasted good and I now feel full even though it only had 280 calories (or possibly 320–my box and the website differ). Obviously some strange voodoo is at work here…

We have evil “Shovel Men” at our apartment. They are in league with the “Crack of Dawn” commuters. Ever since it started snowing in Boston our apartment complex hired a team of men to keep the walkways, courtyard, and driveways clear. I truly do appreciate their dedication. What I don’t appreciate is that they have a shift at 3:00 AM. In two weeks I’ve been woken up numerous times to the “harmonious” sounds of loud pounding, digging, and salt spreading. Now, if the “Shovel Men” are in hibernation for the evening than without a doubt the “Crack of Dawn” commuters will start scraping their windshields at 6:00 AM. I’m ready to move into our spare room for the winter.

Anyway, I’ve been up since around 3:30 AM and I’m now sick of trying to watch “A Walsh Family Christmas” on YouTube, so I decided to cook something. It had to be brainless and quick; something that didn’t involve any frantic KitchenAid noise. My mom’s Peanut Brittle seemed like the way to go. This crunchy treat is created completely in the microwave and it takes less than 10 minutes to make from start to finish (not including cooling time). You’re going to freak when you try it.

In my sleep deprived state I’m kind of nutty myself (thankfully I’m on vacation) so we’re going to call this dish: Mummy’s Microwave Peanut Brittle. Except when I read “Mummy” I think of that Doctor Who episode where a creepy child wanders around London eerily inquiring to everyone it meets, “Are you my mummy?” See…I told you I was a little off today.

Mix	Microwave
Meanwhile: Butter	Add Vanilla & Butter
Microwave Again	Add Baking Soda
Pour & Swirl	Are You My Mummy’s Brittle?

Mummy’s Microwave Peanut Brittle

1 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Light Corn Syrup
1 Cup Peanuts
1/8 Teaspoon Salt
1 Tablespoon Butter
1 Teaspoon Vanilla
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda

In a microwave safe bowl, stir together the sugar, syrup, salt, and peanuts.

Microwave the mixture on High for 5 minutes and 30 seconds. Be careful! The bowl may be very hot. Use pot holders when moving it in and out of the microwave.

Gently stir in the tablepoon of butter and the teaspoon of vanilla.

Microwave again for 30 seconds.

Stir in the teaspoon of baking soda (do not be alarmed, the mixture will thicken and change color) and quickly pour onto a buttered cookie sheet. Tilt the pan to spread. Note: It will not cover the entire sheet.

Cool completely. Break into pieces and share with a friend (maybe The Doctor if he shows up in his Tardis).